Tuesday, February 01, 2005
I'm sooo screwed!POsting gw yg ke-4 buat hr ini... gilaaa.. paling banyak posting neh gw hr ini.
Gw barusan pulang kuliah, abis exam. Mau nangis neh gw... kan nih exam neh gw clueless banget (gak gw doang sih, yang laen juga pada clueless gitu).
gw tuh gak tau mesti pelajarin apa n inti dr pelajaran ini tuh apa... hiks
Ya udah deh, gw masuk ruangan exam tuh dgn dag dig dug...trus ditambah, professornya tuh tau nama gw. Taunya gara2 gw dateng ke seminar minggu lalu, ttg research study on relationships.
Nah, prof gw ini kebetulan yg nilai Jane Dalton (cw yg ngasih seminar ini) yg mau lamar kerja di Uni of Toronto campus gw. Kebetulan cuman ada 2 murid yang hadir, gw n Carla (murid kelas dia, laen pelajaran).
Ya udah deh, dia jadi bawel ngajak2 gw ngobrol gitu.
Trus, jadinya, tadi gw exam duduk paling depan (disuruh sama dia), trus dia tuh ngeliat2in jawaban gw mulu... kan gw tambah nervous tuh! sialannnn banget deh pokoknya... huhuhuhu... trus liat2in student card gw, pokoknya sibuk bgt deh mondar mandir didepan gw lirik2 exam gw getuuu.
Huaaaaaa pokoknya, kalo tadinya tuh pertama2 gw liat questionsnya pala gw pusing, selanjutnya gw rasanya mau mampus, gituuu.
Asli tuh exam... gw tuh sampe bengong aja... gak pernah gw ngerjain exam tuh sampe clueless gini! Huaaaaa
Udah deh, pokoknya gw kalo pass aja udah syukurrr banget deh... jgn fail ajaaa huhuhuhuhu
Trus udah selesai exam gw tanya2 ama yg laen, rupanya mereka juga clueless! jawabannya pada gini "this is the weirdest course I've ever taken in my life!" langsung gw angguk2 "Same here, I thought I was the only one clueless." hahaha lumayan lega juga sih.
Nah, kan tadi gw di campus kosong 8 jam, gara2 gw males pulang, pikiran mau belajar2 lagi di study space. Taunyaaaa seharian gw di depan computer...ngutak ngatik, posting di blog ini (liat kan betapa panjangnya postingan gw yg sebelon ini), email, sms, dll
Seharian tuh gw gak productive sama sekali! Apa gak tambah stress tuh gw, menyadari betapa malesnya gw ini...
Trus, sambil dengerin music di MP3 player, gw ketiduran bentar...hehehe... trus bangun2, malah nulis2 poems... trus waktu dengerin lagunya "Can't we try"-Dan Hill n Vonda Shepard, gw tuh sediiiihhh getu, ampe mau nangis getu... mana emang lagunya tuh mellow gitu lagiii
Trus dengerin lagunya "Beautiful"-Jennifer Paige... sedih juga... trus lagunya Bryan Adams-"I'll always be right there" sedih juga... pokoknya gw tuh sampe gimanaaaa getu... mana pusing mikirin soal exam, ditambah yg gak karu2an... huhuhuhu
Gw akhirnya nulis 2 poems di jam kosong itu, sambil merenung2 sendiri, pikiran dah gak tau kemana dah tuh...
Poemsnya tuh gw usaha dikkkitttt buat rhyme, hehehe..jadi campur2 deh, yang rhyme n gak rhyme semua campur aduk...
poem 1:
Almost sorry it happened
It turned my world upside down
Embracing this joy
And sorrow at the same time
Cuz somehow I know
It's never meant to be?
Dman these butterfly-giving songs
Tales of love
Tales of heartache
Tales of struggle
Stepping into the unknown
It's scary, I know
So sorry it happened
But hey, at least I've experienced
What many never did
And wished they had,
Even just once in their life
Is this real? Only time will tell
Life and its many surprises
Thought I could put it aside
Thought I had it all under control
I know it's been a while
Since I experienced it
Well maybe I never really did in the past
Gotta stay focused
Being unprepared causes emotions to arise
The unexpected shakes me up
This can be destructive
That's what I've learned
But I also learned...to express myself
Kayaknya kagak ada yg rhyme yah??? huahaha... bodo ahhh
poem 2:
Am I sorry
That I let this happen?
Yes, I am
No, I'm not
Yes cuz it disrupts my life
No cuz it's wonderful
But one thing for sure,
I'm venturing into the unknown
Ain't it scary
That we know so little
Though it seems a lot
We know nothing, really
Don't tell me what's on your mind
Cuz I don't think I can handle it
It seems too much to bear
My defences are down
How could I let this happen?
The more I deny,
the more intense it becomes
It's so complicated
Don't wanna hurt ya
Like I've done
To others before ya
Don't you understand?
Oh please understand...
Or... piss off!
100% by Mathilda... Feb 1, 2005... U of T Scarborough campus, H-wing,6.30 pm.
si Monyet @ 2/01/2005 09:47:00 PM
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